I learned a very valuable lesson yesterday that I’m sure I’ll forget sometime in the near future and suffer through again in a matter of weeks. Somewhere between what felt like a thousand emails and a million open computer tabs I learned I can’t do it all. By the time 6pm came I was having a full out mental breakdown about having to get groceries… groceries guys. I literally cried about not wanting to have to make one more decision that day. Tell me I’m not alone with this feeling??
Some days all rational thought goes out the window and I pile my to-do lists so unrealistically high that of course I’m going to feel defeated. Instead of having three major goals for the day I put 100 and then instead of being happy about the 12/100 that are done I’m mad because of the missing 88. I’m sure I would’ve been a lot more pumped with myself if I only had three and then saw how much was accomplished. I need to play better mind games…
So yesterday, I forgot to account for every email that goes out, about 3 come in. So yesterday I was pumping out emails like a boss until I heard “ding”….”ding”….”ding.” And I was like “okay… that’s not ideal but I’ll get through those new ones too.” And then I heard “ding”….”ding”…”ding.” Followed by, “ding”…”ding”…”ding.” Man alive!! (If any of you work on a mac I assume you know that evil email ding I’m talking about.) And as my stress level rose throughout the day, my sanity went out the window. Instead of rationalizing that every email doesn’t need an immediate response and that it was just a freakishly email filled day, I felt like a complete failure. What should’ve ended with me getting up and going to the gym to clear my head for a bit, ended with that grocery fiasco and a couple bottles of wine with friends.
I don’t think my issue was really the emails, it was the pressure of hiring the new Created Lovely team (something that feels so new to me), studying business books on how to be a boss and strong leader, updating my branding, planning a major styled shoot, and finding a balance in my personal and social life– it all hit me like a ton of bricks. And then I do this awful thing inside my head where I tell myself, if I can’t handle this then I’ll never be able to handle ________. (Insert anything from having kids or managing a team or something self destructive). If you’re like this, please don’t do it. It doesn’t feel so good. So after I had a good cry I realized I was being crazy and that one rough day does not constitute as failure. Some days you just need to tell yourself, you just can’t do it all. And you don’t have to. People don’t expect you to be perfect, they just want to feel like you’re trying and that you care.
So today is a new day. I started it off not freaking out about my to-do list. I drank my morning coffee without sending an email first and I’m headed to the gym before I power through today. Feeling better already!
Oh and if you’re wondering how grocery shopping went… I caved, bought a $5 pizza, stuck er in the oven and called it a night.