I truly understand what it’s like to plan your wedding and not want to compromise on anything. What you’ve envisioned is all you want and when you’re paying however much money for it, you feel you should get it all. But the reality is, that’s just not how planning a wedding works. You can’t go to your florist demanding peonies in August when they’re out of season. You can’t ask your photographer to pay them in cash because it’d save you money on tax even though they’re assuming a huge illegal risk doing that. You can’t flip out on your bridesmaid because she can’t afford the $400+ bridesmaid dress you just have to have. You can’t ask vendors to work for less because your budget doesn’t allow for it. And the list goes on and on. (Technically you can do all of these things but you’ll be a Bridezilla. And no one, and I mean no one, likes a bridezilla. Bridezillas are where flexibility and reason go to die.)
If you really want to enjoy being engaged and the planning experience you need to be flexible. I’m telling you right now, your planning will not go perfectly. Something, often multiple things, will go wrong and usually when you least expect it. When you’re flexible your entire wedding goes smoother and the planning experience is so much more enjoyable. It’s okay to have that freak out where you just need to cry. That makes you human. But after you’ve had a chance to breathe, go get your favourite latte or tea, buy a new wedding magazine or something that makes you feel good like a new scarf, and sit down and tackle how you’re going to fix the issue.
For example, if you can’t afford the tall centerpieces you’ve fallen in love with maybe you can afford half tall and half short. Maybe you can’t afford the photographer you’re dying to have, but if you’re being flexible you could compromise something else in your budget in order to get them. You’re going to find that your budget needs to be changed and manipulated throughout the planning process in order to make your dream wedding come to life. And sometimes you’re just going to have to say no, let it go, and walk away. You might be absolutely in love with chivari chairs but maybe the reality is that you just can’t afford it. And that’s okay. Your world will not end and your wedding will still be perfect. I promise.
Whether you’re being flexible with your budget, your venue, your vision, your vendors, whatever the case, your mindset is going to change how the entire situation plays out. Go into your planning with an open mind knowing that at the end of the day you will be married to your best friend and that’s what counts. The rest can be incredibly stressful or it can be an amazing and exciting experience. It is what you make it, so remember to be flexible.