Tag: Kelowna Wedding Planners

Your own kind of beautiful

“I didn’t ever dream of my wedding.” ” I don’t want to ‘feel like a princess for a day’.”  “I don’t have a theme for my wedding day.  I didn’t know weddings had themes. Do we need a theme?”

These are all such common things I hear during a consultation.  And all of which are totally okay.

I dreamt of being a wedding planner, but I never dreamt of my own wedding.  I dreamt of the guy I’d meet and what my life would look like but never the gown I’d wear.  While there’s absolutely nothing wrong with dreaming of your wedding day your entire life, not everyone feels that way. Some people might not have ever even imagined getting married.  And then love happened.

Lately I’ve noticed so many couples feeling apprehensive about their wedding.  “We don’t have a whole lot to spend.” “Our engagement story isn’t anything special.” “We don’t really want a glamorous wedding.”  I wish that every couple realized that love is beautiful and perfect in every form.  When it’s true to who you are as a couple, no other stereotype matters.

You don’t have to wear a ball gown on your wedding day to feel beautiful.  You don’t have to pick a “theme” to have decor.  You don’t have had dreamt of your wedding your entire life for it to be special.

It’s time to stop following everyone else’s rules and let your wedding be your own kind of beautiful.

xonicole

 

 

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The dreaded wedding budget

I think I talk about money so openly sometimes I forget that that isn’t normal for most people.  To me, a budget is just a budget.  Whether you’re spending $20,000 or $50,000 it makes no difference to me I just need to know what parameters to work within and where your priorities are.  I never recommend spending more than you’re comfortable with because at the end of the day you have to live with your bank account. And financial stress takes the cake over wedding planning stress. So. much. worse.

I think there’s a common misconception that a $10,000 wedding may not be as beautiful as a $100,000 wedding and that’s really not the case.  Yes, you need a reasonable budget to make core pieces of the wedding come together, but the way in which you do it can be equally as beautiful or equally as hideous regardless of how much you’re spending.

In my world, less is more.  Put thought into every aspect of your wedding.  Decor needs a soft hand, where money or cheap decor is never thrown at the problem.  A DIY wedding can always be gorgeous and tasteful when it’s done right.

Think of your venue as the base of your wedding.  This is your core.  If your ceremony space is gorgeous to begin with all you need is nice chairs and it can stand on it’s own and be beautiful.  If your ceremony space is not so nice, you’ll be spending the difference on bringing in different chairs, decor, and flowers to transform it into something beautiful.  Same goes for reception spaces.  When the base of your wedding is beautiful the amount you’ll spend to complete the look will be significantly less than if you’re starting from scratch.

Always prioritize your vendors.  Don’t take average costs for everything and make a budget out of it because you’ll ended up with average everything.  (Unless your budget is enormous and you can afford the best of the best of every vendor…For reality sake let’s not pretend to be celebrities.) Sit down with your fiance and decide what your top 3 priorities are.  If food and wine is really important to you, then perhaps your floral budget can afford to be less and you’ll use more greenery and candles instead.  If your wedding design and being stress-free is really important, then perhaps you’ll budget higher for a wedding planner and reduce your food and beverage budget.  You’re not average people, so don’t create average budgets.  Prioritize.  Hire vendors that specialize in the area you’re most excited about.

Don’t dread making a budget.  Having a budget is what will put you at ease when you don’t know what you can and can’t afford. (And the bragging rights of being on or under budget aren’t so bad either!)

xonicole

Taking a Breather

A wedding day is so packed with events that it seems that it just flys by.  Regardless of the fact that you probably didn’t sleep much and were wide awake as of 6am, it’s the longest and fastest day ever.

In the whirlwind of getting ready to getting to the ceremony to photos with your photographer, I think it’s really important to consider which moments deserve the time to take a breath and let it all sink in.  Think about which moments you want to be private and which are to be shared with others.

I had 5 bridesmaids, my mom, 3 nieces, my soon to be sister-in-law, two photographers, and a videographer all in the room as I finished getting into my dress. My dad was about to see me for the first time and I took a breath and turned to everyone and asked if I could just share this moment with my immediate family and my photographers.  It was a moment that would have been completely different had everyone else been in the room and I’m so thankful I did that.  It was one of my favourite memories from our wedding day.

On my sister’s wedding night, everyone had left her hotel room, my other sister had gone to bed, and I stayed up with her for 2 hours just talking (and rehearsing her vows since she chose to memorize them).  And on the night before my wedding, she did the same for me.  We stayed up just relaxing and talking– knowing we should be sleeping but chose to embrace the moment anyhow.

Another wedding I was working, the mom came into the room just as I was talking to the bride alone in her wedding dress and her mom gave her a pin that was her late grandmothers.  As they both started to cry, I stepped out of the room and closed the door and let them have that moment.  No photographers, just them.

Whether you choose to have the photographer and videographer present for that moment is entirely up to you, but don’t be in such a rush that you forget about them.  The quiet moments might be some of your favourites from the entire day.

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xonicole

Bring it Back

I think it’s so easy to get caught up in wedding plans. It happens to everyone.  And if it hasn’t happened to you, you’re what I like to call, an alien.  Really though. How can you not get caught up in it all?  There’s a million and one things to think about from the day you get engaged to the day you walk down the aisle.  And to be fair, you’ve probably never done this before.  That’s a whole lotta pressure, research, and learning to do on top of potential financial stress with making it all work when you realize what weddings really cost.  But you do it anyway.  It’s still kind of fun, right?!

So, let’s fast forward a few months.  You’ve managed to pull most of it all together.  Maybe a few glasses bottles of wine later, but the majority of your to-dos get planned.  Centerpieces picked, dress bought, bridesmaids dresses ordered, invitations out, the works.  Everything you were told to plan by Pinterest, countless wedding magazines, and every blog and timeline known to bride kind is now complete.

But is that what your wedding is really about?  A checklist of items you are “required” to book and plan?  In my world, your wedding isn’t about pleasing others.  It isn’t about incorporating a theme.  It’s isn’t about what anyone else wants.  Your wedding day is the start of your marriage.  Just you and your fiance.  It’s the moment you wake up realizing you’re marrying the love of your life today.  It’s saying your vows with your whole heart and believing them.  It’s walking into your reception and feeling completely at home because it’s the truest reflection of who you two are.  It’s not a production of should’s and shouldn’ts.  You don’t have limitations on who you are as a couple, so why should your wedding day be limited to what other people think a wedding should be?

Let’s bring it back.  Bring it back to what your wedding day is really about.  Bring it back to you.

I believe that your wedding should be just you, in your most beautiful translation.  Dearly, Created Lovely.

xonicole

Plan for the Worst

I had my first meeting as a boss last night.  That’s right, I officially have 2 assistants. What a weird feeling.  I’ve always had an assistant to help me with wedding season but this year felt really official… a legal contract and everything.  Fair to say sh*t’s gettin real. I can now legitimately use the term,”like a boss”. And you betcha I will.  Time for a new scripted coffee mug.  Moving on.

So last night they asked me, “have you ever had anything go wrong at a wedding”.  Oh man, every wedding.  Sometimes really small things and sometimes huge things, but something always goes wrong.  For my client’s blood pressure sake though, let’s switch out the word “wrong” for “different”.  Something always goes differently.  That’s the nature of a wedding day.  9/10 it has to do with the weather as every single wedding of mine either has an outdoor ceremony, outdoor reception, or in my dream wedding world, both.  The other 1/10 of the time it has to do with family drama or forgetfulness. Note, the forgetfulness isn’t on my end though I’ve been known to lose my phone in my own hand.

Past forgotten items include: Pastors suit for a destination wedding (my own actually), groomsmen ties, marriage license, dropping vases off to the florist to prep, bridal party gifts, champagne for the morning of the wedding, umbrellas, etc.  18/19 of my brides are destination weddings so it’s expected on my end that something will be forgotten when they come to the Okanagan before their wedding and pack it all in the car.

As for weather, it’s completely unpredictable.  The best you can do is always plan for the worst and hope for the best.  On a wedding day I was assisting before I started my business the weather was “too nice”.  Yes, too hot, too clear of skies, too perfect.  The bride got heat stroke and a terrible sunburn and missed her entire reception.  I now keep sunscreen and bottled water in my emergency kit and ensure my bridal party has been drinking water all afternoon.  I’ve had the windiest of wedding days, the rainiest of wedding days,  the hottest of wedding days, and the coldest of wedding days.  Here’s how I plan for them:

Hot Day Planning: Have bottled water and a basket of sunscreen at the ceremony, use fan programs, ensure there’s plenty of water for the reception, provide shaded areas for your guests at the ceremony/cocktail hour/reception, rent a tent fan if necessary, buy shakeable icepacks for groomsmen to put on their lower back.

Windy Day Planning: Have all of the girls get their hair put up by the stylist, ensure your tent has walls for all sides, turn your mics and music up for the ceremony, ensure any decor is properly weighted down.

Rainy Day Planning: Have someone designated with umbrellas to assist guests going from their car to the ceremony spot, have enough umbrellas for one per 2-3 guests, have a back-up tent on hold for the ceremony and/or reception, breathe.

Cold Day Planning: Rent propane patio heaters or a tent heater, expect to go through more wine than cocktails, have a coffee/tea/hot chocolate station, provide shawls or a basket/trunk full of pretty blankets, plan to have your bridesmaids in long dresses or matching cardigans.

The most important thing to remember is that whatever goes differently on your wedding day is just part of your story.  It will never ruin your wedding or the significance of what your wedding is all about.  I remember being so stressed about the almost black skies with pouring rain the morning of our wedding and seeing my mother-in-law in a white dress, and you know what?  The skies opened up to the most beautiful sky and my mother-in-law was actually really sweet to me on our day.  If I could take back the stress I felt that morning I would.  Our day was perfect with every flaw– and yours will be too.  I promise.  There is nothing better than getting married to your best friend.  Your wedding is the start of a marriage, something so much bigger than a little rain or heat.

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xonicole