I want to talk about the wedding industry in a way that most people don’t talk about it. I’d like to say that I think being a wedding planner is truly the best job in the world and there is literally nothing that would keep me from living this out as my career, but the industry can be exhausting. Truly exhausting.
Imagine it like this: You walk into your office where there was no filter for who was hired, anyone that wanted to work there started working there, the majority of the people there are extremely independent and like to do things their own way, they may have completely different values or goals than you but you all work in the same office, the gossip in the workplace is out of control, oh and you’re all selected to work on projects together and attend events together or you’ll look bad to your boss.
Essentially, in the most negatively written way possible… that’s the wedding industry. It’s a giant office filled with opinion and criticism. The worst part is, that criticism is all too often put on each other instead of oneself. And that’s where it gets me. We (myself included unfortunately) are the first to point our finger at other people not running their business how we think they should run it, instead of focussing on how to grow our own businesses and give our clients the most amazing service and wedding possible.
The other day my husband (who’s a wedding photographer) had another photographer’s website open of work he didn’t like and he started talking about it and I just snapped. Not because I’ve never done this myself, but because it’s not what I want for our businesses or for us as people. I just can’t take it anymore. If you don’t like someone’s work then don’t look at it. If you don’t actually like what they do, don’t tell them you do. Don’t “like” their photo on Facebook or comment just to have your name seen and look friendly. “Let love be genuine”- Romans 12:9. I will willingly admit that I don’t follow many of my competitors on Facebook because I don’t like that it makes me feel like an ugly person when I get jealous, feel threatened, or critique their work. And I never, ever tell someone I like something if I don’t. That’s not what this industry needs. It doesn’t need more people being fake with each other. Be supportive, and if you can’t be supportive or genuine leave them alone and let them run their business how they choose.
The more we focus on our passions of why we do what we do and how to better serve our clients, the more our businesses will thrive. And when your business thrives, it’s amazing how quickly jealously and criticism begins to fade away.
Now this shoot was a huge challenge for me. I really have this obsession with working with pastels and soft tones to fit my rustic, Southern style so working with reds and navys really through me off. Thankfully, I had such talented vendors to work with and it all came together to fulfill our nautical and romantic vision.
Photography: Royce Sihlis Photography
Hair & Make-Up: Melissa Craven
Flowers: Classic Creations Floral Design
Cake & Cupcakes: Sweet On You Designer Cups & Cakes
Custom Cookies: Sarah’s Sweets
Vintage Rentals: Vintage Origami
Stationary: Dandelion Willows
Venue: Lindon House
Wedding Dresses: Ashbury Bridal
Event Styling: Created Lovely Events
I can’t tell you how many times people have said, “So how crazy are your brides?” or “Share your bridezilla stories with us.” I can honestly say that I don’t get bridezillas (knock on wood). Mothers of the brides and grooms are a different story but that’s a blog for a different day. Moving on… I like to take credit for it and say that if a bride has a planner she’s usually a lot more calm than the rest and has me to deal with her moments of crazy. But in all honesty, brides crying over the little things and stressing about the things that just don’t matter is completely normal. Yes brides, you can share this blog with your fiance and say it came from a professional.
I’ve never worked with a bride that didn’t say “I’m so stressed about this” or “I cried about this the other night”. I really think the key to this though is being able to laugh about it. This past weekend in Vancouver planning my sister’s wedding and my own is a prime example. It’s Friday and we got to her first dress fitting, which also happens to be the same store I got my dress. Naturally, I wanted to try my dress on again (with the go-ahead from my sister) so when Joanne was changing I asked where mine was. Apparently, some bride (note the resentment) bought my dress off the rack. My dress. This was the only store out of about 10 I went to that had this dress and my sister was the only one to have seen me in it, which meant not even my mom would see me in my wedding dress until at least July when it came in. Joanne then put her dress on and the length was much shorter than anticipated leaving room for only a kitten heel, which to a bride that wants heels, they might as well have told her she should wear gumboots. As we left the store, I start bawling in the car. While Joanne is comforting me she starts talking about how she’s really not happy about the length of dress since they assured her when she ordered it’d be fine. By the time we got home, Joanne was now crying too. Here we were, two brides crying about our dresses, which resulted in a lot of wine. While I was talking to her about how great her photography and videography would be, I looked up at her and she said in all seriousness, “I don’t even care, I just want to be skinny.” As I looked at her in astonishment that she really hadn’t heard a word I said for the last five minutes, it was at that very moment we realized just how ridiculous we had become and broke out in uncontrollable laughter.
Come Monday, I picked up my invitations from Jukebox Printers, which I had specifically ordered to be done on the Monday before we drove back to Kamloops so I wouldn’t pay shipping (budget conscious bride I am). The nice front desk lady opened my box of invites where the quality was fantastic but the colour was… orange. Some may call it coral but to a bride that wanted blush pink they were flat out orange. I think I hated that nice front desk lady by then. I got into the car and cried while Royce tried to make me calm down, they were going to fix it after all. I later met Royce’s groomsmen for coffee and laughed about how crazy I was being. It’s paper, honestly, it’s an invite that was getting fixed. Take a breather Nikki.
So, to the bride that’s reading this and saying, “Oh I totally did that” or “Yeah… that’s me”, it’s okay because you are normal. Or maybe you’re just normal in my eyes because it makes my sister and I a little less crazy.